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Yesterday’s sick day granted me plenty of time to myself to reflect on just about everything.

While I know I’m still bitter and the feeling of abandonment from Gregory stings like crazy right now, I’m kind of hoping it will subside and one day we can interact outside of work like adults. This could also be me being lonely, bored or uninterested in the men I’ve crossed paths with. I’m obviously okay being single, just not okay with settling for less like I have in the past.

I’ve been trying to decide between taking some online courses from Berklee for music business courses or return to school to get my bachelor’s in film production, seeing as I only need like ten more courses. I was really unhappy taking on less work, financially stressed all of the time and going to school without learning anything that pertained specifically to what I was interested in. I still have some time, but I wish NYU had not removed their music supervision program otherwise my decision towards education would have been a no-brainer.

The weather has been ridiculously kind to New York, so I will try to spend as much time outside as possible today. I wish I knew where I was in regards to my comic reading–all of what I was reading is being held hostage on a shelf at Gregory’s place. Today would be a perfect day to visit the park and get lost in some other realm. But no, I’ll just be (im)patiently waiting until Gregory has to move so I can sort through my things and collect them. I suppose I should just invest in trade paperbacks at this point, and it would help save space. I haven’t read anything since I’ve moved and although I’ve been keeping fairly occupied, I miss my outlet to a world that isn’t here.

In the midst of planning my Hawaii vacation to see one of my best friends get married, so gym time and meal prep is crucial. I plan on living in a bathing suit on the beach for five days with some ridiculous looking beverage in my hand. Never thought I’d be going to some sort of tropical paradise all by myself, especially for a wedding, but I’m hoping it’ll exceed my expectations as I roll solo.

It is obvious that I have nothing exciting, dramatic or enticing to report. I’m honestly just bored, exhausted or feeling betrayed when it comes to the people I’ve been interacting with lately. Young me knew what was up; I stayed in my room, reading books and playing video games and kept to myself. I think maybe this next month, aside from going to shows (because there’s too many good ones in March), I’ll become a recluse. I want books, art, film, cooking and the gym to be the only things I care about (well, aside from the handful of friends who I don’t have to meet at a bar to enjoy spending time with).

I’m hoping my next entry will contain some art to post! I’m off on Saturday and it’s supposed to be gross so I want to draw my face off. Stay tuned or whatever.

Emily

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